Seeing the Light in a Dark Tunnel after 4 years Post Concussion.

 I began to change the way I eat on Thanksgiving Day.  It started off researching anti inflammatory foods beside the red cherries and turmeric I knew about and grow. 

It's been 87 days.   My abdomen had bloated out and I topped 210 lbs.  Every meal I ate, I passed out.   I was short of breath, only able to work 15 minutes, and I'd collapse.  My skin was bad, and severely itchy especially at night.  I make my own laundry soap using baking soda, Borax, and Washing powder, and grate bars of ZOTE soap so I knew it wasn't chemicals in my laundry soap. I've been making my own since 2008.

I've done so much research on digging deep into the root cause of my illnesses beginning with the head concussion on October 27 2017 when my life was altered, and world stood still - and slowly all the weight crept back on my body.  I'd lost a lot of weight by October 2017, and was feeling great.  I was 186 lbs.  Over the past 4 years I gained 24 lbs and was now obese on the BMI chart.  >30.  My balance was way off and I learned to shuffle my feet to stay upright and not fall over. I felt like a drunken sailor though I have not consumed alcohol since 1985. Pain in my feet & lower legs became so bad, insomnia overtook my nights, and sluggish fatigue became my days. I had great difficulty focusing my eyes, and I could be staring right at the object I was looking for and not see it in front of me.  Organizing the files that sat on a folding table because the lateral filing cabinet channels had come undone & folders fell inside the cabinet.  I still have not repaired it and the folders sit in stacks in the parlor for 4 years now.  It is a task I need help with.  I don't invite anyone over due to the files and folders taking up my living space.  Concentration, focus, organizational skills and visual  impairment have created despair because I want things fixed and put into place, again.  I pay on time all my bills, and rip up all junk mail because I can't stand excess paper coming into the house. My eyes hurt so badly I have to lay down and close my eyes.  It hurts to do self eye therapy to improve double vision but I have to do it. 

I cannot bear to hear loud noises.  Children screaming in the park across the street, loud conversations, loud cars racing down the street, fireworks, all hurt my ears and force me to wear ear covering or stop the source of noise. 

  

My eyes were dimming, blurry, and literally ached.  My scalp on the top of my head was swollen, inflamed and it hurt to wash and brush my hair so I rarely did.  My self esteem suffered from greying hair gently pulled back into a bun.  It was the heart of the pandemic in 2020 and I never went out except to see doctors to get to the bottom of my ailments. Even trips to doctors did not motivate me to fix my hair due to the pain on the top of my head. 

All my exercising came to a screeching halt.  As the weight and body aches increased, and I realized all the extreme hard work losing the weight in 2017 was now undoing itself,  and my clothes were too tight, I spent the next 3 - 4 years wearing old clothes and just staying home doing small jobs, 15 minute corners, and the projects I wanted to do were started and not finished, and the tools still sit here today in corners of the house.  Paint cans, in the dining room, garden tools by the front door that should have gone into the basement.  The stairs are a challenge.  I get nervous I'll fall and short of breath when I use the attic or basement stairs.  It took a month, but I even cleaned and painted the stairs with oil based bright white paint so I could see them better.  

My eye surgeon (in Sept. 2021) threw his hands up and said your eyes are fine, I don't know what's causing your visual problems - maybe a neuro opthalmologist can help you. I will see a neuro opthalmologist in early March who was referred by my neurologist who diagnosed my condition as poly neuropathy and gait abnormality. 

I had to stop P/T several times because it was too much, too fast, and too soon before the other matters like my mindset, stress, staying away from crowds of people, the inflammation, sleep deprivation, nutritional needs, and visual blurriness were addressed first, not simultaniuosly. I could barely figure out how to get to places I used to know. How was I going to get to Commack to a referred eye doctor?  I couldn't remember.  How was I going to ride on a bike in a gym when I was so off balance?  I needed to lay down a lot to feel a sense of stability and balance. These forms of movement caused grave eye pain.

With no support or family to drive me, and little compassion from anyone to understand that I was in the midst of a crisis, I isolated.  By the time the pandemic came, I was accustomed to the aloneness, but feeling sad esp. after a few good friends had died. The phone stopped ringing.  I didn't make many calls because all I really wanted to say was how terrible I felt not being able to fully resume my busy life before the concussion. And this pushed people away.  I wasn't depressed, just lost in a confused fog. 

I had to do what I could to control my life, and understanding how important diet and nutrition are, but not able to focus on counting calories or food tracking (the way I'd lost the weight pre-concussion) I eye balled portion size and ate great food choices, but the weight was stuck.  I've been tweaking meals and researching those root causes on the professional medical peer reviewed sites using a lap top with enlarged fonts and light that helps me to see and read. 

Since Thanksgiving Day - 11-26-21, when I stayed home alone, and through trial and error, I have lowered my weight from 210 lbs to 197 lbs. 

My blood pressure was around 160/90.  My Massapequa cardiologist and I discussed my heart, BP, and we switched meds from Losartan and Hydrochlorizide to Olmesartan and Indapamide.  I gave in to having a nuclear stress test. I faithfully have been keeping track of daily morning pressure, pulse, and weight.  

Just from January 1 2022 :

my BP was 117/75 with a pulse of 88 and weight of 206.2  to

                   97/71 with a pulse of 85 and weight of 197.4. 

That's 12. 6 lbs in 87 days. and my BMI went from: 

31 down to 29.1

Goal:   weight 168 and BMI 24.8 and lose of 42 lbs. 

I admit that in the past 4 years since the concussion, I have re-gained weight and created a dangerous metabolic syndrome, insulin resistance, high glucose and A1C and fatty liver disease.  The liver converts fructose into FAT.  I was becoming diabetic but no doctor told me that.  I figured it out through bloodwork. 

All on my own without a doctor reference, I saw my gastroenterologist and had a liver sonogram.  There is fat in my liver.  I won't see him for 2 more months but I tweaked my food plan, again.  I'm hopeful both liver eneymes ALT and AST will be in range, again. I'm de-toxing my liver and gallbladder and pancreas. 

My waistline went from 41 to 37 and bellybutton measurment from 43 to 40.5. 

Goal is to have waistline 34 inches. 

I make a promise to stick to a food plan that I created that excludes any form of sugar, white refined carbs, and saturated fats.  I promise to return to physical therapy.  And socialize with others.  As the pandemic is dropping numbers and I remain mindful of the effectiveness of vaccines, hand washing, social distancing, and KN95 masks, I will respect all others of their right to remain free of this everchanging virus by taking care of myself, first. 

I need to regain my health and independence to do the work it takes to repair and care for my home and body.  I want the muscular strength to return and the balance to improve so I can walk with ease and become confident, again.